Mostly, we hear about how our marriage has changed our lives, and it absolutely does. I was with James eight years before we got married, so he was changing my life long before we actually tied the knot. He has made me a better person, he brings such pure and complete joy to my life every moment, and he is my absolute best friend. I’m the luckiest woman in the world to be his wife, and I love him more and more everyday. So, my spouse has absolutely changed my life, but the wedding day itself changed my life in very surprising ways.
The bride is usually the one planning the wedding, so we’re forced to learn the ropes very quickly. We’re all the sudden the CEO in company that we’ve never worked for. Brides have to not only learn what it takes to put together the massive production of a wedding, but we also need to understand each aspect well enough to make the best decisions. That’s a lot of pressure on us, and it’s extremely stressful. Some brides crack under the pressure. Some brides plan out of necessity and are quick to forget it. But, some brides bloom and become more confident and better decision makers. That’s what happened to me. I guess it’s that whole “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” thing (something I previously didn’t subscribe to). There were days I thought my head would burst from the stress, I thought I wouldn’t be able to continue with all the tasks on my list with a smile on my face, I felt I didn’t have enough time, and I believed I didn’t have what it took to be the CEO of my own wedding. But I did. It all taught me a very important lesson: there was a power inside of me that I didn’t know I had, and when utilized, I could move mountains.
On the big day, I also felt the most beautiful I’ve ever felt. I could finally see what James and my family had been saying all those years, except now, I felt it from within. For months later, I would feel blue that I’d never be that beautiful again, despite my husband constantly telling me how beautiful I am (even with crazy bed hair and toothpaste drool down my shirt). It may seem like a vain thought, but our self-image is a critical part of our mental health. That’s why we often feel upset when we don’t think we look nice, or when we feel under or over dressed at an event. It’s because we care about how we are perceived by others. For awhile, I let myself wallow in self pity. Then, something flipped in my brain. I started trying to recapture the beauty I had on my wedding day. I started trying to learn new hairstyles, I was more careful when applying makeup, and I started paying more attention to my everyday clothes. I always liked fashion, but I put more effort into it post-wedding. I was slowly reflecting on the outside what I had felt on the inside, and that in turn enhanced the confidence I had earned from the wedding.
With this newfound self-image, I started becoming a different person. Or, at least, a more improved version of myself. I started pushing myself harder and taking more risks with my work. They started paying off left and right. With each success, I found my creativity opening up. I trusted my instincts. I found that things that normally would make me anxious or scared no longer had that affect on my nerves. I was calmer, collected. Instead of wondering if things would work out (as I had always done), I just understood that they would.
I always knew my marriage would change my life for the better, but no one ever told me about the wedding gift that first day would bestow upon me. It was the best wedding gift I could have received.
Photos by ShootAnyAngle Wedding Photography.